Hw # 17 - Outline Suggestions Part 2

* My 2nd Triangle Partner has not yet done her work, soo im going to comment on someone elses outline*

Ellen,     Your thesis caught my attention. Disembodiment is not something most people  think about when talking about technology and how it affects us, so good job  with that. Also your idea on corporate propaganda and "the fostering of  capitalist values at a young age" is a very good point to add on. It will make  your paper that much stronger. I can tell that your going to focus on what you  believe is important for us as humans, which is to be able to feel , have  emotions, and realize the things the going on around us, pretty much being  aware.    The evidence you are planning to use in your big paper is good. You are using  feed which we primarily looked at and I like that your using a specific part of  the book, like the lesions and how they prove your point of disembodiement. With  this beng said though, try to add more evidence. I know its your outline but I  would like to see what other evidence you can use to further prove each  argument.    One thing I think will make your paper that much interesting is making it a  bit personal. I know your thoughts are personal but I know that you've  heard/seen/done things that can also prove each argument and overall your paper.  Also try to compare the digital with ourselves to prove your point. What if the  digital is actually part of what makes us feel etc these things? Idk just look  into something like that. ( Even though u seem to have your mind set on what you  believe, which either way I agree with lol)   Overall I know your paper will be powerful. Just addd on the ideas you believe  are helpful and that will work. I'm looking forward to reading what your paper  will end up as.