Elvis,Your thesis is strong. The fact that you said "digital obsession is a disease" was very good. Its kind off what Andy was talking about, making your thesis confrontational. Its going to make people wonder why your comparing it to a disease.
Your first argument about society seems to be good. I know its an outline, but maybe talk about specifically what kind off technology makes us impaired. Also talk about your self. What have you done that makes you believe all these things? What do you see? What have you heard? Keep does in mind. Make sure to go in depth on Feed because I know it will help your arguments stronger.
Connect your second argument to your first. It is a good. Compare the world from now to before and talk about how bad it will get. Our planet is important but will the change of technology make great change. Try thinking about that as well.
When talking about what the world will become ask yourself, How can we fix what we started? Go into detail about that because it can make your paper a bit stronger.
Good start for your big paper. Go in depth with your arguments and make sure to talk about more than one source and your paper will def be strong. Good luck.
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